Journal entry by Ann — Nov 27, 2017
It’s so strange how in November everyone gets so caught up in a day of Thanksgiving. Are we not supposed to be thankful everyday for all that God supplies us with. When all is going great and life is traveling on the road we think is best it is easy to be thankful. But when the days are hard where is all that readily found thankfulness. Do we have to dig a little deeper, look under large stones, or look to other people? During the difficult days or seasons that’s when we especially need to keep our eyes open to all that’s is good. God does not allow hard for no reason. Take a step back and just observe for just a bit. It won’t take you long for you to see God’s hands carefully preparing what is next. He will provide not always what we ask for, but what is really needed. That does not mean we don’t pray and ask God to intervene or help us, but we also have to have faith that His will is perfect. What If we think God doesn’t live up to our expectations then our perception or view of who He is, is way off.

 

 

Journal entry by Ann — Nov 6, 2017
Let me just make a quick note about my last post. I am not saying we are in some special club because we have lost a child. When I wrote about a great loss I was talking about ANY loss that you have had that has changed your life. There is no loss that is worse than another. If you loved that person, they played a key part of your life, and a huge empty spot has been left by their passing, then you have experienced a great loss. If you have poured into each others lives whether it was a family member or a friend and now they are gone you are going to be grieving and mourning their absence. In no way am I saying our loss is greater than some one else’s. It being a child’s death does make it different, but it doesn’t make it harder to handle than someone else’s loss.
When you have given your heart and time to someone that passes you are going to feel broken and lost. Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself time. Don’t let anyone rush you through this process or tell you the “right” way to grieve. Each person will experience loss differently. There is no right or wrong way. There is also no time frame. You may be trying to work through and figure it out for the rest of your life. Don’t let anyone pressure you to get over it and move on. Loving each other is key in working through all that is to come. Life is hard and many trials will cross our paths be each others support. Showing love, compassion, and kindness is never the wrong way to go. Be Jesus’s light to those around you and reach out to others. We are all hurting and struggling with something. When you are feeling impatient with others take a step back and show love. Just remember you have no idea what they are going through. Just think your kindness could change the course of their day.

Love and hugs, Ann

Journal entry by Ann— Nov 6, 2017
On October 29th, 2017, we went to the cemetery and placed Logan’s grave marker. I hate writing that. Everything in me want to fight that wording because I wish so deeply that I didn’t have to say those words and that it wasn’t real. My heart wants to clean it up and say we got Logan’s stone today and put it over at his place.
I know it’s real. I know it happened. I know my son is gone. I don’t like that we are in this place of grief. I don’t like that I have to see my girls in pain. I don’t like that my husband doesn’t have his son here. I don’t like that his friends are hurting and miss him. I don’t like the empty feeling of my arms that are aching to snuggle my boy. I don’t like any of this.
Though I don’t like it I accept it. I know God is perfect, His plans are perfect, and He sees the big picture and knows what best for us. There are times that He doesn’t intervene and that has a purpose too. I have to hold tight to His promises and that He knows me better than I know myself. God’s love for me is so great He is my only comfort. Only He can soothe my ache, ease my pain, and calm my thoughts. In reading the Bible I am comforted by His words of encouragement. I am covered by His unending love and bathed in His grace and mercy. Oh God, use my life, my pain, my sorrow, and my joy to bless others and show them the love of Jesus no matter what the circumstances
There are days when I hear news of someone’s loss and my heart breaks for them and I think how will they endure this loss I can’t imagine what they are going through. And then my brain harshly reminds my heart that I do know. I can imagine. I am there too.
Everywhere we look reminds us of Logan and everywhere we look we are also reminded of his absence. Please don’t expect us to pick up where we left off, move on, and not be affected by this great loss. He is always on our minds, present during every conversation, and the first thing we think about when we wake up. If you have experienced a great loss you know exactly what I am talking about. If you have no understanding of this then you have been spared a grief that most words can not describe. Please have patience with us. When we are unable to do something because its seems too overwhelming or reminds us of Logan, please extend extra grace.
And most of all please don’t stop talking about him. We need to hear his name, your stories, and that you miss him too. We wish he was here to join us in every moment and we don’t want him to be forgotten. Don’t be afraid to talk about him if our tears come it’s just an abundance of love leaking out our eyes.
If you think about us or are praying for us don’t be afraid to say or text it. We take comfort in knowing that you are there and we aren’t forgotten.
Thank you for all the love that has been given to us there is no way to show how great our appreciation is.
Love and hugs sent from me to you. Ann

Journal entry by Ann — Nov 4, 2017
This is the time of year men, boys, and even girls go into the woods. They layer up to keep warm. Strap on their boots to walk about or just to sit in the stand. They wear bright orange not because it looks good on them, but because it will keep them safe. They set up camp, prepare food, and with anticipation wait for the day to begin.
I imagine them waking to the cold November morning not wanting to get out if their sleeping bags with just the tip of their nose being ever so cold. The warmth of their breath meeting the cold of the day sending a jolting shock to their lungs as they try to breath in the morning air. They take the brisk walk to the deer stand that they had placed up in the trees days before. Carefully they climb the ladder until they are sitting in the chair strategically placed by the opening they will spend hours peering through. They begin watching for the slightest movement beyond and near the trees. With tilted heads listening for the faintest rustling of branches or the snap of a twig on the ground.
I imagine upon hearing any sound a rush of adrenaline would quicken the beats of their heart and rapid breaths would have to be quickly quieted. They begin to scan the field or forest to match the movements with the sounds they have just heard. Yes, there it is the ten point buck they had patiently hoped for. I imagine them raising their gun, peering through the scope, aiming at the target, taking a deep breath and exhaling ever so slowly. Fire. The sound of the gun echoing out in the still of the morning, the bullet whistling through the chilled air, and the target being hit just beyond the trees. The hunter anxiously waits for the proper amount of time to pass, climbs down the ladder, and begins to track the deer he hopes fell to the ground instantly because it was a perfect shot.
Now I will stop there because I don’t want to think about the events that take place after the deer is down. I know the process, but just don’t want to think about it. I am not even a venison eater. My mind won’t let me get past cute little Bambi running gracefully through the field and then it is on the dinner table!
None of the above writings do I not know from any experience. It is only a picture in my mind that I am sure I will never actually see play out. As for me I am not any kind of a hunter. I don’t even kill lady bugs that happen to get in our house I pick them up and place them outside so they can carry on some where else. I know your all thinking of the squirrel post I wrote before, but because of Logie they fall in a different category! If your wondering, no, I still haven’t shot one of those, YET!!
This was one of Logan’s favorite times of the year. The preparing with his dad and just being away with boys for a time was something he looked forward to. I am sad at the thought that he is not getting to take part in all the preparation that was done and the days of the hunt. I imagine it is a million time harder for Scott than it is for me. I am sure it will be very dusty for him this year in each things he does and that he can’t share it with Logan. Logan has been involved in the hunting process since he was 9. I picture many tears in the deer stands this year from Scott, the girls, and his friends. I am sure he is smiling down on those he loved sharing this season with while they carry on and continue to hold up the traditions. Robin, please don’t start your fires with gas, use a flint and a cotton ball or Logan will be disappointed!!
Hold us up in extra prayers as some difficult days are ahead in the next few months. Sending much love, Ann

Journal entry by Ann — Sep 30, 2017
Before you read this journal entry I have to warn you that its contents contain some talk of hunting and the end of rodents lives! Please understand I write this in honor of Logan. Also that these critters I write about not only steal the birds food constantly, but they also get in our buildings and cars. If you have had a problem with these guys you know they ruin numerous things which in turn can cost much money to replace. Its not just for the purpose of shooting something.

I am absolutely positive that the squirrels and chipmunks in my yard are taunting me!😉 Logan was the rodent hunter at our house. Let me say that their population was at an all time low last fall. He was always on the look out for the flash of them scurrying around. Once the critter was in site he did not quit until it was “sleeping with the fishes” It was then captured, a picture was taken, and he then cut the tail off. The tail was then put in a baggie that was on a bulletin board in Logan’s room or hanging from his tree fort a souvenir of sorts. Gross right! I asked Logan to have the job of ridding our yard of these critters and it was a mission that he took quite seriously. We have MANY pictures of him smiling proudly holding up his catch.

But now they have come back with great enthusiasm. I am guarding my bird feeders with much ardor. Logan told me the squirrels had a system and they always came in pairs to steal my birdseed. I would just nod my head and say, “Sure they do.” I should have believed him because they DO! So one squirrel stays on the ground or in the tree near by as the look out and the other comes to raid my feeders. With one chirp from his buddy the thief is off and jumping from tree to tree until he is hidden from my sight. I am sure Logan studied them quite fervently, probably while he was supposed to be doing school! As we all know he was hard to focus when it came to his studies! Though I see now he had complete focus and clarity when it came to the mission of those critters.

I am sure they all know Logan is gone. I picture them in the woods chattering amongst themselves saying the coast is clear lets raid the seed, destroy things in their buildings, and get up in the car building nests and chewing wires! The crazy part in this is that it makes me sad when I see them know, I can’t depend on Logie for help. The thought of him not being here is difficult enough to deal with, but on the other side the thought that they don’t care he is gone makes me sad. Kind of strange right!

One day I looked out the front door and saw a chipmunk digging in a car seat I had placed on the steps. I made a noise he did not move. I opened the door only a little so he didn’t run in the house and he just looked at me. I then stepped out onto the porch he jumped out of the seat, stopped, and stared at me. I yelled at him and he just sat there peering at me through the slightly opened door. I attempted once more to step toward him to chase him away and this time he finally scurried under the steps out of sight. All I could think was what nerve how dare he just sit there when I’m trying to scare him off. I thought if only Logan were here he’d sure be running then! As I stood there thinking I probably looked crazy yelling at this little chipmunk. I began to sob. I wept with the realization that Logan would no longer be my go to guy for this job. And my heart ached with an emptiness longing to touch, talk to, and hold my brave hunter.

Laney actually got a dear last year so she has no problem being the huntress. Though she is willing I would rather it be my boy. I’d rather he were here to be my hunter and protector. Who knows maybe I can learn to shoot in honor of Logan! I wonder though could I really fire upon Gods creation!! Maybe with my eyes closed, though that’s not quite the safest way to shoot! I’m not sure about that question and at this time I have no answer.

Okay just so y’all know I don’t have a problem with all of God’s creatures. Snakes are yucky I’m but not afraid. Bugs don’t really bug me. As for spiders I’m fine if it’s by me I just don’t want it to jump on me. I don’t believe rodents are trying to jump at me and kill me. They are not trying to attack me like I believe all frogs and toads set out to do. I know many of you know of my giant fear of frogs and toads. I always say they leap at my throat and try to bite me with their fangs. Though I really know this is not true and they don’t have fangs I do wonder why they always jump right at you?? Never mind I know they are trying to get me I am sure of it!

Have a blessed day! Ann

Journal entry by Ann — Sep 20, 2017
I looked up the definition of grief and this is what is said.

Deep sorrow, especially that is caused by someone’s death.
sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak,
agony, torment, affliction, suffering, woe, desolation, dejection, despair.

I did not really need to look it up since I feel all of them to some degree. Some of these are words I don’t think I fully comprehended before Logan’s accident. With all the things that I have been through in my life none compare to what I am experiencing now. My heart is broken and the ache my arms feel to hold him is overwhelming. Just to stand next to him would warm my heart. My thoughts about him are all consuming there isn’t a moment of the day that Logan is not on my mind. Sometimes I have to take a step back and think this moment is not about Logie. This has to do with something or someone else. I find myself inserting him into every conversation. Or thinking Logan would or wouldn’t have done that. Or the conversation reminds me of funny stories about him that I have to share. I hope my talking about him doesn’t make people uncomfortable, but I don’t want people to be afraid to say his name. EVEN if it brings tears I don’t want people just to stop talking about him. God created him, he was in my womb, he was born, he was here, and he is still my son.

I think all moms will understand that when I say all your minutes, hours, and days are perpetually thinking about your kids. For instance where are they, what are they doing, and are they doing what’s God honoring? Whether they are at your own house or someone else’s home their absence is felt they are constantly on your mind. Now triple or quadruple those thoughts and that is where my head is at. Then when your heart jumps in and the emotions are added your thoughts can consume you, making your moments of thoughts feel more like anguish.

My head and my heart are always in conflict. My head knows God is there for me and that He will never leave me. My head also knows God’s promises and truths. I hold fast to the Bible’s teachings. By God’s grace I am able to fully accept His will for me and my life. I fully accept that God taking Logan home is just part of that plan. Which is one that I can’t see into and while here on Earth I won’t get to know why. But a plan that I completely accept as God’s sovereign will.

My heart loves God and it can only imagine how much He loves me. I am so overwhelmed at all He has done for me. His sacrifice on the cross to purchase my heart is far beyond my understanding. On the other hand my heart is broken and longing for my boy to be in my home with me. My heart aches for my arms that long to hold and snuggle him. If I allowed my heart to take over and really feel the innermost parts, I wouldn’t be able to stand. I know that the Lord is holding me up and is more than willing to pick me up off the ground every single time I fall. I imagine Him saying, “Oh, my sweet child, give me your hand let’s try this again.” I picture Him gently wiping the dust off my clothes and lovingly placing His hand across my back all the while holding my hand and ever so carefully helping me to my weary feet to be able move forward to begin once more. It seems I need this lifting every day since the accident.

Life is definitely different. I think things will never return to the way they were. How could they? A piece of our heart is missing. I know I will never be the same and I have accepted this. I hope others will understand and realize this truth not just for me, but for my kids too. Please don’t forget about the girls of my house they are grieving too, but with fewer coping skills to deal with real life issues. I know for me doing all things is overwhelming and your mind constantly goes to the fact that Logan should be here too. I am sure their hearts are experiencing these same emotions.

I have come to realize there is no end to this journey. When hard things come along I always stop and ask God, “What do you have for me to learn through this and how should I use it to love on others?” I would just work though it, deal with it, and move on. God has allowed plenty of difficult things into my life and this is exactly the approach I have taken. But with this kind of loss it doesn’t work that way. I have come to learn this is a life long journey. This one doesn’t end. If you think it should end tell me which one of your children you can do without and that missing them will go away and you will heal right up and just be able move on like they didn’t exist.

The word HEALING has taken on a new meaning to me. Your cut, scrape, ouchy, or broken bone can heal. It can feel better and you can easily move on. A scar may remain, but the pain doesn’t linger. There is NOT healing in traumatic loss. It becomes learning how to live again. Learning how to keep moving forward when you are so broken that you don’t even feel like it or know if you are able. It becomes gaining an understanding of grief and what works for you to sift through the many emotions that you will be bombarded with. It becomes leaning into the Lord and clinging to Him with desperate hands. Your daily time with God becomes interlocking your every moment and heart with His.

For those experiencing a traumatic loss {of any kind} please give them extra love, time, and grace. They need extra patience, understanding, and compassion. If you are in the season of loss then you know these are blessings. Just love each other not because we are told to, but because we are all hurting in some fashion. If you look at others with the eyes of compassion maybe you will see the world differently. Maybe through the eyes of Jesus.
Much love sent to you, Ann

Journal entry by Ann — Sep 13, 2017
Melanie DeSimone is a great writer and in the throws of grieving the loss of her son. I find her words a great comfort and I’m sure you all will too. Please check out her blog. There are more posts on how to deal with the holidays than this one, but she writes of more than just holiday plans. She has lived this for a few years and has experienced the hardships of loss. Her upfront and vulnerable way of writing speaks right to my heart.

From the blog, Thelifeididntchoose.com by Melane DeSimone
“Bereaved parents feel increasing pressure as the days count down toward December 25th.
Everywhere we look families are celebrating togetherness and happy moments. Our hearts rejoice for each home that has a full table and an unbroken circle. But our own loss is magnified in comparison.
With Christmas less than two weeks away, I’m reblogging this post, with an addition or two.
If you know someone who has lost a child, here are some ways you can bless them this holiday season.

Most parents feel a little stressed during the holidays.
For bereaved parents, the rush toward the “Season of Joy” is doubly frightening.
Constant reminders that this is the “most wonderful time of the year” make our broken hearts just that much more out of place. Who cares what you get for Christmas when the one thing your heart desires–your child, alive and whole–is unavailable…
It is so hard to find a way to trudge through the tinsel when what you really want to do is climb into bed and wake up when it’s all over.
Here are some practical ways family and friends can help grieving parents during the holidays:
Don’t resist or criticize arrangements a bereaved parent makes to help him or her get through this season.If they are brave enough to broach the subject, receive their suggestions with grace and encourage them with love. Do your best to accommodate the request.
If the bereaved parent doesn’t approach you–consider thoughtfully, gracefully approaching him or her about what might make the holidays more bearable.But don’t expect a well-laid plan-I didn’t get a “how-to” book when I buried my child…this is new to me and very, very painful. I am doing the best I can to keep my head above the waves and I cannot be expected to captain the boat through these turbulant waters.
Don’t be surprised if a bereaved parent doesn’t want to exchange gifts (or at least, not receive gifts). No one can rewind time or restore my family circle to wholeness and I just can’t think of anything else that I want or need.
Don’t assume that the bereaved parent should be relieved of all meal duties around the holiday.For some of us, doing the routine things like baking and cooking are healing. For others, there just isn’t energy for anything other than the most fundamental daily tasks. ASK if they want to contribute.
Don’t corner surviving children for a private update on their parent’s state of mind.My children are grieving too. When you expect them to give an update on me you diminish their pain and put them in a difficult position. If you want to know, ask me.
If there are young children in the family, it might be helpful to offer to take them to some of the parties/gatherings/church services that their parent may not be up to attending. Ask, but don’t be upset if they say “no”–it might still be too traumatic for either the child or the parent to be separated from one another.
Ask them to share about the one they miss. One of my greatest fears as a grieving parent is that my child will be forgotten. But we might not speak up because we don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable.
I know that life goes on, the calendar pages keep turning and I can’t stop time in its tracks. I greet each day with as much faith and courage as I can muster. This season requires a little more-and I will need help to make it through.”

Journal entry by Ann– Aug 30, 2017
I never fully understood what parents that lost their children were experiencing. Sadly, I can say I do now. This is like no other kind of pain or trauma that I have ever endured. Most of the time there are not words to describe it and what you are experiencing can change from moment to moment. If you find yourself without the right words to say to someone in this situation it’s okay to say nothing. Your hugs, cards, and prayers are of great comfort. Just knowing others are praying for me eases the weight of my heart, because sometimes I don’t even have the right words to pray. I’m thankful for the Lord who can intercede for me when my tears, groans, and utterings don’t make any sense.
Since Logan passed away I feel like I’m in such a strange place. It’s like I don’t fit in anywhere or maybe I never really did. It’s kind of like being in a fog that isn’t blown away with the breeze. I feel on the outside of what’s going on around me. At parties or gatherings I feel so out of place. I am there physically, but mentally I have a hard time focusing and staying in tune to what’s going on. I can feel a smile on my face, but I think it’s just placed there out of habit to cover my broken heart. To engage and focus on a conversation is really hard. Please extend a little extra grace my way and know I want to hear what you have to say and you are important to me. All I can say right now is I’m doing my best.
Though I can say with a new found peace that I have turned a very small corner in this life long journey. Since the accident I have had such anxiety, fear, and worry and that is so not me. I have never been a anxious person, but until just recently that was me with crippling affects. I’d cry all day if I had to go some where and get so panicked. I either wouldn’t go at all or do my best to put on my pretend face like all is great. Though I was completely shattered inside. I don’t know what made it so crippling maybe I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t okay or the fear of crying or breaking down. A huge fear was what if I could not get it under control. No one wants to go places a feel like a mess. That makes alot of people uncomfortable and all eyes are looking on you with pity.
Thank you to those who have allowed me to grieve. Thank you Lord for softening that fear with your truths, love, and comfort. I am now ready to deal w the details of the accident. I did finally see the spot where it happened which was extremely difficult, but comforting in knowing that Logan was there. Strange right? Though it was traumatizing for others he was surrounded by people who loved him and that’s not a bad place to be.
It doesn’t mean I’m over Logan’s passing which I don’t see how that could ever be possible, but I know I will never be the same. I am forever changed. Let me say though that God has opened my eyes with a heightened awareness of others who are experiencing grief and sorrow. God had already given me a great compassion and love for His people, but now that has changed too. In hearing of someone who has lost a loved one (not just a child) my heart is deeply burdened and aches for their life that will forever be altered.
Lord, Jesus please comfort those in my house, all who new Logan or of him and are hurting, and those who are in the throws of grief now. Lord, wrap your arms around them and soothe the constant ache they are experiencing.
Much love sent off from me to your all. Love and hugs, Ann

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Journal entry by Ann — Aug 18, 2017
I’ve been thinking about those words lately.
THINGS: Logan had an amazing knife collection, well, maybe better wording would be “weapons collection!” He lived it, treasured it, obsessed over it, was proud of it, and was always on the look out for a new addition to his weapons family. But after he passed away his prized treasures were left behind. As we gathered up each one reminiscing where he got it, who gave it, and his stories of how it was used the realization hit me like a brick wall. His treasured weapon family stayed behind he didn’t get to take it with him. This fact was of no surprise so I don’t know why it struck me in such a heavy way. He also left behind his earthly family. He definitely couldn’t take us with him either. That is an individual decision for each one of us to make. We must make a covenant and relationship with the Lord himself. We are His precious treasures. I began to ponder what do I store up in my heart as treasures? What Do I put before the Lord? My new thinking is that all we collect here means nothing. The only valuable thing to give, receive, or collect here is love, showing the love of Jesus to others is very valuable. I’m not saying don’t work hard, make money, or buy things. Since Logan’s accident what is really important has been narrowed down quite a bit. For me, the most important thing is loving Jesus and putting Him first. Next loving people, the sharing of our hearts, and the telling of our stories that are specially written by God are of great value to Him.

PLACES: We all travel and make plans seeking new adventures and exploring God’s beautiful creations. But for me at this time in my life making plans to seek those treasures is hard. Some of the things we do to pursue pleasure and find joy seem fruitless in the season I’m in. It got me thinking of the crazy things that we seek out to have fun. The thrill seekers like skydiving or jumping off cliffs {which I will never do.} The explorers enjoy walks in the woods, canoeing, and going where the earth has never been disturbed by human hands. Then there’s the folks who like to be immersed in family, going to parks, and having people in their homes {which is more me}. We all have hobbies and there is nothing wrong with that as long as we put the Lord before all places or things we seek. As I watch my kids swim and laugh my heart is warmed, but when I think about the fact that we paid money to find this joy I’m having one of those A-ha moments because the real joy we long for is free. Though it wasn’t free for Jesus because God sacrificed His own Son with a promise of the true joy that we are able to receive and it comes from knowing Jesus. In no thing, place or activity can we experience that pure, untainted joy. Being fully immersed in the Savior’s love is the place where I long, seek, and desire to be.

ACTIVITIES: If we aren’t careful about our days, schedules, and to do lists we will be so overloaded we will not have time for what really matters; people. I think looking for ways to serve and love on others is where God has prepared and seasoned my heart to be. Just remember you don’t have to say yes to everything asked of you and your kids don’t need to be in every sport or class. Don’t let the pressures of the world or other families serve as your guide. Let God show you what’s best for you and your family. Children’s time doesn’t have to be so full they don’t have time to be a kid and explore. Let them be creative and figure out something for themselves. I am grateful that we have slowed down over the last couple years. We are more free to get together with others and invest in each others lives, share our hearts, and be a support system. In life we will all have many joys to share and plenty of difficult trials to walk through. We all need compassionate friends to walk alongside us to share in those moments.
I need to cool it on the things I can do with much less. I need to seek the places where God’s wants me and not follow my own desires. We have already cut the activities in half so there’s more time to show the Love of Christ to others. Though each person/family is different let God enable you with the ability to be exactly where you need to be. For me that is to be in His presence, engulfed by the Holy Spirit, and smothered in His love. In doing so He is equipping me with exactly what I need to pour into others and speak love into their lives.

So it leads me back to why we are on this earth……why do we exist? Is it to gather up THINGS; is it to go to PLACES; or is it to do many ACTIVITIES???

The Bible says:
To celebrate God’s presence….Exalt our Master….Worship Him…Psalm 34:3
To communicate God’s word….Evangelism….Acts 20:24
To encourage each other….Fellowship….Ephesians 2:19
To teach (our children) maybe others…….Discipleship….Ephesians 4:12b-14
To demonstrate God’s love……Service….Ephesians 4:12a
Sending much love to you all. Ann

Journal entry by Ann— Aug 9, 2017
God did not write the story of your life and then sit back to watch it play out. He is in the story with you. As a matter of fact, He has the leading role. Oh, we try to butt in and take the spotlight. We try to push Him out of the way and take over the lead. But when we get to heaven and look at the playbill, we will see that God had the leading role all along, and our names were there in supporting roles as a display of His glory. Oh, if we only knew.
I just thought this was a comforting thought. If we just let Him lead think about how much better off we’d be. Have a blessed day. Love and hugs, Ann