Journal entry by Ann— Jan 20, 2019
Today I was thinking about how last year I wrote a daily account of the accident week. Where I recalled some of the difficulties and emotions. With tears stinging my eyes and streaming down my face, I relived each moment with every swipe on my keypad.
Though I am not writing remembrances of that week, I can tell you that in the last few weeks my brain has revisited those days without my permission. So many memories flood my mind and seep into my heart making it again feel unbearable. Too many details permanently embedded on my heart that I wish to forget. The cruelty of death steals some of your life.
Some days I still feel the shock that this has really happened. Is my boy really gone? Could this be real? Why him? Sometimes I still expect to see him sitting in his normal spots and am disheartened when he is not. Even though deep down I know better.
Some difficult days in our house are ANY holidays from Valentine’s Day to Christmas. He made all of those extra special with his excitement. It was definitely contagious. January 16th is the accident day where he was celebrating his buddies birthday. Then January 21st is the day he died. Which was followed by the funeral on January 27th. And last his burial was on April 23rd. On any or all of these days we would love to be covered by your prayers. We try to talk as a family on or close to those dates. Just as a reminder of our love and support for each other. There is no way we could forget to do this since their eyes are a constant reminder of the heaviness that all of their hearts bare.
In the days to come I can only hope for the return of joy, a soothing of the sorrow in our hearts, and the sting in the recollection to fade to warm memories.
Thank you for your extra love and encouragement. Hugs and love, Ann
Child loss and my journey 