mercy

Journal entry Ann– Mar 10, 2018
I miss Logan. What a flimsy set of words. No words could describe the depth of how much I miss him and want him here. I bet if I were to yell it out loud it would only come back as an empty, hollow echo. No response, just silence.
There are days it feels like I am just trudging through the mud and wading in water that is way too deep. And getting up in the morning is work. Everything is exhausting. It takes a lot of mental energy to get going when you feel sad. There is a fog that sets in and focusing on anything is nearly impossible. I am tired all the time. The combination of minimal sleep and the work it takes to function wears a person down. There are days the tears won’t stop and days not even one can escape.
Right now, I can’t even look at his pictures spread through out our house it just hurts too much knowing I can not touch him, hear the sound of his voice, or listen to him speak what ever came into his mind. I miss his hugs most of all.
Then there are other days it’s a bit easier. Like today God woke me up saying, “My mercies are new every morning.” I believe that to be true and one of His promises. So I said, “Yes, God, they are and thank you.” Waking up in praise and thankfulness redirects my heart in a way that is needed daily. Sometimes MANY times a day.
Thank you, Lord for your unfailing love, ever present help, and great compassion.
Love and hugs, Ann