Choices

Journal entry by Ann — Oct 15, 2018
Yesterday as we were deciding which vehicles to drive, who would go in what car, and where everyone had to be after church I was struck by the flippant choices we all make everyday. After we made a decision I went back to finish my hair and I could feel a rush of fear pass through my body. Frozen in fear I had to quickly sort through the many emotions flooding my brain. Was this the choice that would have some more of my family joining Logan in heaven? Would there be a vehicle that didn’t make it home? Tons of questions rapidly firing in my mind that ended with me pleading, Lord, you wouldn’t right, please don’t, please spare us another tragic loss.
I never used to think this way. I didn’t think so heavily about making choices in this fashion. It’s not that I didn’t and don’t think about consequences. There are always repercussions in every decision or choice we make, but I didn’t always think of the impact or the damage that could be done. I definitely didn’t think of the shattered pieces for those left behind to somehow pick up. Though you are too broken and paralyzed with pain to know where to begin.
Think of all the different choices we make every day without deep consideration of the ramifications. Will this be the last choice I make? Do we consider who or what will be affected by our decisions? Even in the simple choices we make like what car to drive, taking a bike ride, or which person will bring the garbage can to the end of the road. It seems like these shouldn’t be life altering decisions, but they could be, an accident can happen anytime or anywhere. None of us is saved from these traumas or the pain of this world.
In no way am I saying to live in fear, but if you have lost some one with no warning these are normal feelings and emotions to work through. I believe in God’s sovereignty. I also believe my life and all that happens in it is all planned out by the Creator, Himself. I accept this path, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy, that it won’t hurt, or have life altering choices.
Be thoughtful of others. Think through your decisions with care. The trickle down affect takes place in every choice we make. It may not hurt everyone but it will affect someone else.
Hugs and love, Ann