January 18th

Journal entry by Ann — Jan 18, 2018
This was the third day. I was glad to see the facial twitching had really calmed down. He looked more peaceful. The nurse that was there over night was so sweet. In one of my few moments of sleep she had washed Logan’s hair and combed it. The night before Laney had said he didn’t look like Logan because his hair was all messy. So that nurses thoughtfulness made my eyes extremely dusty.
The ER trauma doctor came to visit again looked over his chart while he chatted with us. I tried to read his face, but there was no glimpse of what he was thinking.
Logan’s doctors reports weren’t encouraging. As I had a conversation with one of them he seemed to be holding back. Probably because Laney was with me. I followed him into the hall and said give me your real thoughts. He said in his experience it didn’t look good for him to ever get better or even wake up. I valued his experience, but I still had a hope that I’m not sure he did.
Scott and the girls came back to the hospital in the morning. We spent the day there. It was a repeat of the day before with friends, hugging, encouragement, sorrow and exhaustion. I stayed until late afternoon and then took a few girls home. A couple girls went to church to be with the youth group. I thought they were so brave since tears were sure to be flowing.
Scott stayed that night at the hospital. We took turns “sleeping” in Logan’s hospital room. I’m not sure what was harder being at the hospital and seeing Logan laying so still since he was always on the move. Or being home where memories overwhelmed my heart and worst of all knowing he’s never going to be here again to create more.
We all went to bed and I actually slept.

Love and hugs, Ann