holidays

Journal entry by Ann — Dec 24, 2017
Today as we prepared for Christmas there was an empty spot in every room, silly moment, laughter, chair, and of course my heart. I could see my family’s eyes a bit sad, but trying to be happy and put on a face. Though I told them to let out their feelings, it will help. Let the dusting begin!
I could also feel the heaviness of their hearts because mine has the same broken piece. A piece that won’t quite go back together properly. One that the best super glue in the world can’t fix. Picture a vase that falls to the floor and shatters. Even if you get all the pieces picked up and put back together it will never be the same. It may look okay on the outside, but inside it doesn’t work the same. It may not hold water or it may just simply fall apart. That is a peek into what my heart is dealing with. People expect you to be okay, but your not. To get over it, but you can’t. There will not be a day that I won’t miss my son. So getting over it , is not an option. I have had a harsh lesson in expectations. I can’t live up to anyone else’s. I can only try to live by what God expects from me. His expectations are clear there is no confusion as to how He wants me to live. All I have to do is read His Word, be in prayer, and continue to nurture a relationship with my Creator.
During the next couple weeks I will do the best I can do. Pouring love upon my husband and my five daughters is what’s important right now. Let us also reach out to others and extend some extra grace, love, and time.
Lord Jesus, please bless and comfort not only my family, but those who are hurting during this holiday season. Let them find some time of laughter, joy, and sweet moments too treasure. Help us to remember that you are there in every one of those moments.
Much love, hugs, and prayers sent to you all. Merry Christmas

Love and hugs, Ann