Holidays

Journal entry by Ann — Jul 3, 2017
The last couple weeks have been really tough in our house the tears are flowing easily and the emotions are high. Its as if a bandage has been ripped off before the healing is complete. The loss of our son/ their brother is felt so greatly and everywhere we look he is absent. I can feel the heaviness of my children’s hearts and not sure how to alleviate their pain. There are many snuggles, much love, and prayers over them. Watching them in pain and not being able to relieve their ache is so difficult. I would take it all on me in a second if I could. I feel so broken, weary, helpless, and unable to ease my own heart. I can not even count the number of moments my eyes met with Scotts and tears were flooding his or mine. Well, if ones cries we all cry. Its like a yawn no one gets to do that alone!

Finding comfort in the Lord is first, but finding it in each other is soothing too.
On this holiday weekend we are missing Logan a little extra. This kind of holiday is usually filled with road trips, four-wheeling, camping out, being out doors, fireworks, and of course cooking out on the fire. If you knew Logie this was his kind of fun especially the fire! He loved making camp fires and he was good at it. No gas or flame starter helpers, he wanted to do it with flint and a cotton ball. According to him that was the best and only way. I can’t tell you how many bags of cotton balls I have now.
Please pray for us everyone is struggling. Each day is different, but a day doesn’t go by that someone isn’t crying. which I think is so normal for this kind of pain, but as a mom it is such a weight on my heart that nothing can soothe. I know Scott is feeling this too. Love and hugs, Ann